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Local News & Satire


Ah, those Herrington Lake Nazi dolphins!
Once upon a time, in the tranquil waters of Herrington Lake, an unexpected transformation was taking place. Dolphins, known for their...
danvilledanky
Feb 14, 2024
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Boyle Co. Chronicles: Beaver Mastermind Unleashes Chaos on Webster Road
In the riveting saga of "Always interesting in Boyle Co," a recent event has left the community stunned, amused, and slightly...
danvilledanky
Jan 11, 2024
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Innovative County Road Department Equips Workers with Space Age Technology
In a groundbreaking move to ensure the safety and well-being of their employees, the County Road Department has invested heavily in...
danvilledanky
Oct 6, 2023
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Local Civic Group Trains Children for Manual Labor, Unveils New Child Labor Force
In a surprising turn of events, a local civic group has taken it upon themselves to address the labor shortage crisis in our town by...
danvilledanky
Sep 21, 2023
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Drag Show for Minor Attracted People
Dragtastic Kiddie Show" for Minor Attracted People: A Progressive Step Yes, you read that right. In an effort to be inclusive, diverse,...
danvilledanky
Sep 21, 2023
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Boyle County Man Sentenced to 15 Years for Receiving Child Pornography
LEXINGTON, Ky. — A Danville, Ky., man, Steve Noonan, 46, was sentenced to 15 years in federal prison on Friday, by Chief U.S. District...
Local News
Aug 28, 2023
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Forkland Discovers a Misplaced Platypus, Considers Adopting Him as Community Mascot
FORKLAND, KY - In a surprising turn of events, the quaint little community of Forkland, located in the heart of the Kentucky countryside,...

Danville Dan
Aug 26, 2023
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To whoever complained to Facebook
We are Standing Strong for Freedom of Speech: Our Commitment to Satire In our journey to bring you a mix of news, entertainment, and...

The New American Sentinel
Aug 19, 2023
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Introducing The New American Sentinel: Your Source for Comprehensive News and Satire
Dear loyal readers, We are excited to announce a significant transformation that reflects our commitment to delivering more expansive and...
danvilledanky
Aug 19, 2023
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Bob's Holderman's Unbelievable Shark Save on the Chaplin River in Perryville, KY"
In the tranquil town of Perryville, Kentucky, where days were measured by the rhythm of the Chaplin River and locals exchanged stories on...
danvilledanky
Aug 7, 2023
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Professors Employ Bold Strategy to Educate Students on Freedoms: Mandatory Republican Meeting
DANVILLE - In a move that can only be described as both educational genius and political theater, Centre College professors have come up...
danvilledanky
Aug 4, 2023
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Local Woman Achieves Heroic Feat by Choosing Unpierced Nose and Ink-Free Skin
DANVILLE - In a stunning turn of events that has left the community in shock and awe, 23-year-old Mia Blevins of Danville has decided to...
danvilledanky
Aug 4, 2023
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Man's Aquatic Love: Danville Resident Pushes for Catfish Rights to Marry
Danville, KY— In a surprising tale of love and peculiar passion, a resident of Danville named George has captivated the town by declaring...
danvilledanky
Jul 27, 2023
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Ferretnity: The Hilarious Tale of a Steroid-Pumped Poodle Mix-Up!
In what can only be described as a pet store mishap of epic proportions, the unassuming Mr. Albert Johnson set out to buy a cute toy...
danvilledanky
Jul 26, 2023
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Feathered Folly: The Hilarious Coronation of Mr. Harold Featherstone, King of Pigeons
In a bizarre turn of events, the quiet and uneventful town of Danville, KY witnessed an audacious proclamation yesterday when Mr. Harold...
danvilledanky
Jul 26, 2023
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Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life
Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life, based on various surveys and polls: In a 2021 survey...
danvilledanky
Jun 19, 2023
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Parking Enforcement Nazis Introduces "Chalk Art Therapy" to Humiliate Citizens
Danville, a picturesque town known for its charming streets and friendly locals, has recently made a surprising addition to its parking...
danvilledanky
May 25, 2023
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Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement: Slow Down or Shell Out!
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement. Boyle County Residents were surprised to see turtles crawling...
danvilledanky
May 10, 2023
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Naked Truth: Danville Goes Clothing Optional at Festivals to Fight Global Warming
In a bold move to combat global warming, the city has announced that all future festivals held within city limits will be clothing...
danvilledanky
May 9, 2023
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The Galactic Empire Strikes Back: City Parking Enforcement Goes Too Far
In a city far, far away, parking enforcement has taken a turn for the dark side. Stormtroopers have been enlisted to patrol the streets,...
danvilledanky
May 9, 2023
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County Recruits Child Labor to Save on Recycling Costs
In a shocking move, the county announced replacing their recycling center workers with child labor. The county cited the need for more...
danvilledanky
May 8, 2023
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City Officials Declare Potholes as Latest Tourist Attraction
In a surprising turn of events, city officials have announced that potholes are the newest addition to the list of tourist attractions in...
danvilledanky
May 8, 2023
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Downtown Danville Parking: A Real-Life Game of Tetris
In a stunning turn of events, the city of downtown announced that they would launch a new initiative plan to combat their notoriously...
danvilledanky
May 3, 2023
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National and World News


Academy of Country Music in Shock as Song Richmond North of Richmond Tops Charts:
In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the country music community, the Academy of Country Music (ACM) is reportedly...
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Recipes


How to Make Delicious Smash Burgers on a Blackstone Griddle
Blackstone griddles are perfect for making smash burgers, which are thin, crispy, and packed with flavor. To make smash burgers on a...
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Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients: 2 oz tequila 4 oz orange juice 3/4 oz grenadine Ice Orange slice and cherry, for garnish Instructions: Fill a highball glass...
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Bahama Mama Cocktail Recipe
Ingredients: 1/2 ounce dark rum 1/2 ounce coconut rum 1/2 ounce spiced rum 1/2 ounce 151-proof rum 1 ounce orange juice 1 ounce pineapple...
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Classic Chocolate Brownies Recipe
Ingredients: 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter 2 1/4 cups granulated sugar 4 large eggs 1 1/4 cups cocoa powder 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon...
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Easy Baked Lemon Garlic Chicken Recipe
Ingredients: 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 2 lemons 4 cloves garlic, minced 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2...
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Pets


Spring Health Hazards for Pets: How to Keep Your Furry Friends Safe
Spring is a time of renewal, rebirth, and rejuvenation. It's when everything comes to life after a long, cold winter. For pet owners,...
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Local Entertainment & Events


Downtown Downbeat ft. PowerPlay! Presented by Farmers National Bank
Event by Great American Brass Band Festival and PowerPlay THURSDAY, JUNE 1, 2023 AT 7 PM Weisiger Park Dnaville, KY
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Your 2023 GABBF
Festival Weekend on June 1-4
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Thoughts Of The Day


Thought of the day
"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? And if it does, does it really matter if no...
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Funny Musings of a Southern Man


Musings from a Conservative Corner: Laughter in the Whirlwind of Current Events
Well, darlin', y'all won't believe the pickle we've found ourselves in these days. It's like trying to square dance on a roller coaster...
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"Southern Musings on Current Events: A Humorous Take on the World Today"
Well, well, well, y'all. Here we are in the midst of all kinds of craziness. I tell ya, it's like the world done gone and lost its dang...
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Funny Musings of a Southern Man
Well, folks, it's that time of year again - election season. That magical time, when grown men and women turn into squabblin' toddlers,...
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