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danvilledanky
Sep 21, 20232 min read
Local Civic Group Trains Children for Manual Labor, Unveils New Child Labor Force
In a surprising turn of events, a local civic group has taken it upon themselves to address the labor shortage crisis in our town by...
23 views0 comments
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Danville Dan
Aug 26, 20232 min read
Forkland Discovers a Misplaced Platypus, Considers Adopting Him as Community Mascot
FORKLAND, KY - In a surprising turn of events, the quaint little community of Forkland, located in the heart of the Kentucky countryside,...
59 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Aug 7, 20232 min read
Bob's Holderman's Unbelievable Shark Save on the Chaplin River in Perryville, KY"
In the tranquil town of Perryville, Kentucky, where days were measured by the rhythm of the Chaplin River and locals exchanged stories on...
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danvilledanky
Jul 27, 20232 min read
Man's Aquatic Love: Danville Resident Pushes for Catfish Rights to Marry
Danville, KY— In a surprising tale of love and peculiar passion, a resident of Danville named George has captivated the town by declaring...
48 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Jul 26, 20232 min read
Ferretnity: The Hilarious Tale of a Steroid-Pumped Poodle Mix-Up!
In what can only be described as a pet store mishap of epic proportions, the unassuming Mr. Albert Johnson set out to buy a cute toy...
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danvilledanky
Jun 19, 20231 min read
Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life
Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life, based on various surveys and polls: In a 2021 survey...
16 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 25, 20232 min read
Parking Enforcement Nazis Introduces "Chalk Art Therapy" to Humiliate Citizens
Danville, a picturesque town known for its charming streets and friendly locals, has recently made a surprising addition to its parking...
17 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 10, 20231 min read
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement: Slow Down or Shell Out!
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement. Boyle County Residents were surprised to see turtles crawling...
21 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
Naked Truth: Danville Goes Clothing Optional at Festivals to Fight Global Warming
In a bold move to combat global warming, the city has announced that all future festivals held within city limits will be clothing...
15 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients: 2 oz tequila 4 oz orange juice 3/4 oz grenadine Ice Orange slice and cherry, for garnish Instructions: Fill a highball glass...
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Local News Boy, 13, Gets Stuck Climbing into Claw Machine for Prize
A 13-year-old boy had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck inside a claw machine while trying to win a stuffed animal....
27 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20232 min read
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Strikes AGAIN, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit"
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Continues Her Reign of Yeasty Terror, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit. In a bizarre turn of events,...
85 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20231 min read
Bigfoot Spotted Fishing in Millennium Park Pond Without a Fishing License, Ignites Debate on Cryptid
Residents of the small town of Danville were left stunned when they spotted Bigfoot fishing in a local park pond without a valid fishing...
143 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 20, 20231 min read
Thought of the day
"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? And if it does, does it really matter if no...
2 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 20, 20232 min read
Funny Musings of a Southern Man
Well, folks, it's that time of year again - election season. That magical time, when grown men and women turn into squabblin' toddlers,...
17 views0 comments
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