Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Continues Her Reign of Yeasty Terror, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit.
In a bizarre turn of events, Walmart has been plagued by a mysterious individual sitting on loaves of bread in the store's bakery section.
Dubbed the 'serial bread sitter,' the culprit has been causing havoc since March, leaving behind a trail of flattened bread and disgruntled customers.
Despite repeated attempts by store employees to catch the perpetrator, the 'serial bread sitter' has continued their reign of yeasty terror, seemingly unstoppable and uncaring of the consequences of their actions.
"We're at our wits' end with this person," said Walmart manager John Smith. "They just keep coming back and sitting on our bread like it's some kind of sick hobby."
The situation has become so dire that police have been called to assist with the investigation. However, even they have been stumped by the 'serial bread sitter's elusive nature.
"We've got surveillance footage and witness accounts, but this person is just too good at what they do," said Officer Jane Adams. "We may need to call the FBI or the CIA to help us catch them."
In the meantime, Walmart has issued a plea to the public for any information that could lead to the arrest of the 'serial bread sitter.' A reward of a year's supply of fresh bread has been offered to anyone who can identify the culprit.
"We need to put a stop to this madness," said Smith. "Our bread deserves better than this."
As for the 'serial bread sitter' themselves, their motives and identity remain a mystery. Some have speculated that they may be a disgruntled former Walmart employee or even a rival bread company trying to sabotage Walmart's sales.
Regardless of their motives, one thing is clear: the 'serial bread sitter' must be caught before they strike again.
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