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danvilledanky
Feb 14, 20242 min read
Ah, those Herrington Lake Nazi dolphins!
Once upon a time, in the tranquil waters of Herrington Lake, an unexpected transformation was taking place. Dolphins, known for their...
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danvilledanky
Oct 6, 20232 min read
Innovative County Road Department Equips Workers with Space Age Technology
In a groundbreaking move to ensure the safety and well-being of their employees, the County Road Department has invested heavily in...
15 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Sep 21, 20232 min read
Local Civic Group Trains Children for Manual Labor, Unveils New Child Labor Force
In a surprising turn of events, a local civic group has taken it upon themselves to address the labor shortage crisis in our town by...
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danvilledanky
Sep 21, 20232 min read
Drag Show for Minor Attracted People
Dragtastic Kiddie Show" for Minor Attracted People: A Progressive Step Yes, you read that right. In an effort to be inclusive, diverse,...
26 views0 comments
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Danville Dan
Aug 26, 20232 min read
Forkland Discovers a Misplaced Platypus, Considers Adopting Him as Community Mascot
FORKLAND, KY - In a surprising turn of events, the quaint little community of Forkland, located in the heart of the Kentucky countryside,...
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The New American Sentinel
Aug 19, 20232 min read
To whoever complained to Facebook
We are Standing Strong for Freedom of Speech: Our Commitment to Satire In our journey to bring you a mix of news, entertainment, and...
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danvilledanky
Aug 19, 20232 min read
Introducing The New American Sentinel: Your Source for Comprehensive News and Satire
Dear loyal readers, We are excited to announce a significant transformation that reflects our commitment to delivering more expansive and...
1 view0 comments
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danvilledanky
Aug 7, 20232 min read
Bob's Holderman's Unbelievable Shark Save on the Chaplin River in Perryville, KY"
In the tranquil town of Perryville, Kentucky, where days were measured by the rhythm of the Chaplin River and locals exchanged stories on...
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danvilledanky
Aug 4, 20232 min read
Professors Employ Bold Strategy to Educate Students on Freedoms: Mandatory Republican Meeting
DANVILLE - In a move that can only be described as both educational genius and political theater, Centre College professors have come up...
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danvilledanky
Aug 4, 20232 min read
Local Woman Achieves Heroic Feat by Choosing Unpierced Nose and Ink-Free Skin
DANVILLE - In a stunning turn of events that has left the community in shock and awe, 23-year-old Mia Blevins of Danville has decided to...
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danvilledanky
Jul 27, 20232 min read
Man's Aquatic Love: Danville Resident Pushes for Catfish Rights to Marry
Danville, KY— In a surprising tale of love and peculiar passion, a resident of Danville named George has captivated the town by declaring...
48 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Jul 26, 20232 min read
Ferretnity: The Hilarious Tale of a Steroid-Pumped Poodle Mix-Up!
In what can only be described as a pet store mishap of epic proportions, the unassuming Mr. Albert Johnson set out to buy a cute toy...
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danvilledanky
May 10, 20231 min read
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement: Slow Down or Shell Out!
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement. Boyle County Residents were surprised to see turtles crawling...
21 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
Naked Truth: Danville Goes Clothing Optional at Festivals to Fight Global Warming
In a bold move to combat global warming, the city has announced that all future festivals held within city limits will be clothing...
15 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
The Galactic Empire Strikes Back: City Parking Enforcement Goes Too Far
In a city far, far away, parking enforcement has taken a turn for the dark side. Stormtroopers have been enlisted to patrol the streets,...
13 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 3, 20231 min read
Breaking News! - Tease the Bear, Get a Scare: A New Trend Amongst Daredevils
Source WYMT.com In recent news, there has been a concerning trend of individuals teasing bears to get them to chase after them. This has...
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients: 2 oz tequila 4 oz orange juice 3/4 oz grenadine Ice Orange slice and cherry, for garnish Instructions: Fill a highball glass...
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Local News Boy, 13, Gets Stuck Climbing into Claw Machine for Prize
A 13-year-old boy had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck inside a claw machine while trying to win a stuffed animal....
27 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Man Accidentally Runs Marathon While Playing Pokemon Go
John Smith was on his daily walk in the park when he spotted a rare Pikachu on his Pokemon Go app. He ran after it, not realizing he had...
26 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20232 min read
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Strikes AGAIN, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit"
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Continues Her Reign of Yeasty Terror, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit. In a bizarre turn of events,...
85 views0 comments
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