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Local Civic Group Trains Children for Manual Labor, Unveils New Child Labor Force
In a surprising turn of events, a local civic group has taken it upon themselves to address the labor shortage crisis in our town by...
danvilledanky
Sep 21, 20232 min read
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To whoever complained to Facebook
We are Standing Strong for Freedom of Speech: Our Commitment to Satire In our journey to bring you a mix of news, entertainment, and...

The New American Sentinel
Aug 19, 20232 min read
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Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life
Five facts about Americans and their beliefs regarding extraterrestrial life, based on various surveys and polls: In a 2021 survey...
danvilledanky
Jun 19, 20231 min read
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Parking Enforcement Nazis Introduces "Chalk Art Therapy" to Humiliate Citizens
Danville, a picturesque town known for its charming streets and friendly locals, has recently made a surprising addition to its parking...
danvilledanky
May 25, 20232 min read
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Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement: Slow Down or Shell Out!
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement. Boyle County Residents were surprised to see turtles crawling...
danvilledanky
May 10, 20231 min read
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Naked Truth: Danville Goes Clothing Optional at Festivals to Fight Global Warming
In a bold move to combat global warming, the city has announced that all future festivals held within city limits will be clothing...
danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
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Local News Boy, 13, Gets Stuck Climbing into Claw Machine for Prize
A 13-year-old boy had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck inside a claw machine while trying to win a stuffed animal....
danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
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Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Strikes AGAIN, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit"
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Continues Her Reign of Yeasty Terror, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit. In a bizarre turn of events,...
danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20232 min read
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Bigfoot Spotted Fishing in Millennium Park Pond Without a Fishing License, Ignites Debate on Cryptid
Residents of the small town of Danville were left stunned when they spotted Bigfoot fishing in a local park pond without a valid fishing...
danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20231 min read
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Residents of a local nursing home got quite the surprise when an alligator was discovered hiding und
Residents of a local nursing home were surprised when an alligator was discovered hiding under some beach chairs on the patio. According...
danvilledanky
Apr 20, 20231 min read
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Funny Musings of a Southern Man
Well, folks, it's that time of year again - election season. That magical time, when grown men and women turn into squabblin' toddlers,...
danvilledanky
Apr 20, 20232 min read
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