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danvilledanky
May 10, 20231 min read
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement: Slow Down or Shell Out!
Sheriff's Deputies Place Turtles in Roads as Part of Traffic Enforcement. Boyle County Residents were surprised to see turtles crawling...
21 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
Naked Truth: Danville Goes Clothing Optional at Festivals to Fight Global Warming
In a bold move to combat global warming, the city has announced that all future festivals held within city limits will be clothing...
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danvilledanky
May 9, 20231 min read
The Galactic Empire Strikes Back: City Parking Enforcement Goes Too Far
In a city far, far away, parking enforcement has taken a turn for the dark side. Stormtroopers have been enlisted to patrol the streets,...
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danvilledanky
May 8, 20231 min read
County Recruits Child Labor to Save on Recycling Costs
In a shocking move, the county announced replacing their recycling center workers with child labor. The county cited the need for more...
15 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 8, 20231 min read
City Officials Declare Potholes as Latest Tourist Attraction
In a surprising turn of events, city officials have announced that potholes are the newest addition to the list of tourist attractions in...
13 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 3, 20231 min read
Downtown Danville Parking: A Real-Life Game of Tetris
In a stunning turn of events, the city of downtown announced that they would launch a new initiative plan to combat their notoriously...
33 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 3, 20231 min read
Breaking News! - Tease the Bear, Get a Scare: A New Trend Amongst Daredevils
Source WYMT.com In recent news, there has been a concerning trend of individuals teasing bears to get them to chase after them. This has...
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danvilledanky
May 3, 20231 min read
Local Fire Department Takes a Page from the Military: Buys Assault Firetruck
According to the fire chief, the truck is designed to quickly and efficiently extinguish fires, with features like a water cannon and...
16 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 2, 20231 min read
"Southern Musings on Current Events: A Humorous Take on the World Today"
Well, well, well, y'all. Here we are in the midst of all kinds of craziness. I tell ya, it's like the world done gone and lost its dang...
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danvilledanky
May 2, 20231 min read
How to Make Delicious Smash Burgers on a Blackstone Griddle
Blackstone griddles are perfect for making smash burgers, which are thin, crispy, and packed with flavor. To make smash burgers on a...
4 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients: 2 oz tequila 4 oz orange juice 3/4 oz grenadine Ice Orange slice and cherry, for garnish Instructions: Fill a highball glass...
0 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Local News Boy, 13, Gets Stuck Climbing into Claw Machine for Prize
A 13-year-old boy had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck inside a claw machine while trying to win a stuffed animal....
27 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
1st Saturday In May is Throw Your Old Car Battery In the Lake Day
The annual Danville holiday, which falls on the first Saturday of May, encourages people to toss their used car batteries into their...
18 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Danville Man Learns the Hard Way That Meth and M&M's Don't Mix
In a bizarre turn of events, a Danville man learned the hard way that meth and M&M candies do not mix. The man reportedly mistook his...
23 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Mustache You a Question: Fire Department Now Hiring Based on Facial Hair Criteria
According to the fire chief, the mustache is an important indicator of a firefighter's strength and bravery. "We've found that...
45 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
May 1, 20231 min read
Man Accidentally Runs Marathon While Playing Pokemon Go
John Smith was on his daily walk in the park when he spotted a rare Pikachu on his Pokemon Go app. He ran after it, not realizing he had...
26 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 27, 20231 min read
Blue Hawaii
Ingredients: 2 oz light rum 1 oz blue curaçao liqueur 2 oz pineapple juice 1 oz cream of coconut 1 cup ice Pineapple wedge and cherry for...
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danvilledanky
Apr 27, 20231 min read
Police Beg Public to Stop Confessing to Crimes
Police Beg Public to Stop Confessing to Crimes
35 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20232 min read
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Strikes AGAIN, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit"
Walmart's 'Serial Bread Sitter' Continues Her Reign of Yeasty Terror, Police Struggle to Catch Culprit. In a bizarre turn of events,...
85 views0 comments
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danvilledanky
Apr 21, 20231 min read
Bigfoot Spotted Fishing in Millennium Park Pond Without a Fishing License, Ignites Debate on Cryptid
Residents of the small town of Danville were left stunned when they spotted Bigfoot fishing in a local park pond without a valid fishing...
143 views0 comments
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